![myreadings:
Maybe she was looking in all the wrong places. After all, he was just a dunya guy, he would give her the happiness of the dunya for just a few day, weeks, months maybe and then they would never be the ‘happily ever after couple’ like Muhammad sallallahu alyhe wa sallam and Khadijah radi Allah hu Anha.
For she realized that a bond made for the sake of the dunya lacked the basic crucial ingredient: the barakah of Allah. If she started a relationship which wasn’t blessed by Allah subhanahu wa ta’ala, she would ruin her entire life for the man who looked so charming but whose heart was attached to the dunya.
She was concerned about her future progeny and she decided that she didn’t want to raise up her future children oblivious and ignorant of Islam. She decided that she’d look at his deen, his character and his ikhlaq, for if those qualities in him were well grounded, he would turn into the greatest blessing of her life - her better half.
With all the traffic of thoughts in her mind, she came across a verse in the Quran which lay open in her hands and the verse she saw made her cry and she made sincere dua from her heart and decided that she wanted her better half to be someone who would hold her hand, help bring the Sunnah and Shariah in her life, take her out for ice-cream, help solve all her problems and when he couldnt he would be just a good listener and also he would take her to jannah. The verse she read was:
One of His signs is that He created for you spouses of your own species, so that you might find comfort with them. And He put mutual love and affection in your hearts. Surely in this there are lessons for the thinking people.” [30:21]](http://25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ly7bshDcwM1r73j5co1_1280.jpg)
1) Know their feelings
The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam was telling Sayyidah Aisharadiallahu anha : “I know well when you are pleased or angry with me. Aisha replied: How you know that? He said: When you are pleased with me you swear by saying “By the God of Mohammad” but when you are angry you swear by saying “By the God of Ibrahim”. She said: You are right, I don’t mention your name.”[1]
The husband and wife should be aware of each other’s feelings. The husband should be able to gauge when his wife is upset or sad, likewise the wife should be able to read her husband’s behaviour. By being conscious of one another’s feelings, it will help in resolving any differences. When your spouse is down or upset, be there to console him/her. Sit with them, speak with them, listen to them. Try and make them smile. If the husband is always conscious of his wife’s feelings, and the wife is always conscious of the husband’s feelings, then this will assist greatly in keeping the ‘flicker’ alight.
2) Console her
Sayyidah Safiyah radiallahu anha was on a journey with the Prophetsalallahu alaihi wasallam. She was late so the Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam received her while she was crying. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasallam wiped her tears with his own hands and tried his utmost to calm her down. [2]
This is another feature a marriage must have. Each spouse has to be there for the other in the good and bad times. The wife should find comfort and solace in the husband and the husband should find warmth and love in his wife. Be gentle with one another.
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